My Thoughts AloneMy heart is pounding when I lay alone, in the dark, with only my thoughts scratching at the doors of my sanity. This is the time in my life that I dread the most, when I'm alone all by myself, alone with myself, my destructive and deadly self. Whenever I have something good in my life, that evil monster I try to hide, claws at me from it's cage inside. It growls and snaps with it's vicious sharp teeth, I quiver and shake in fear of it grabbing hold of me. Ruining all of the happiness that I've yet to digress, that I've worked so hard for it to be proven less. It was created so long ago, birthed from my misery and my depression, it laid in it's cage crying for help, I let my own guard down thinking that it was good for myself, that it would help me cope. It took advantage of my caring nature and used me to grow, whenever I felt alone. Over the years it became strong and would drive me to the edge, I would have
Hurting ForeverI'm hurting like crazy, but you can't see,
The pain that's arising and taking over me.
I trust you fully, but my emotions are torn,
I've been used and over worn.
It's not you, it's just my past,
I love you so, I want this to last.
I promise you everything will be okay,
So please just don't ever look at me that way.
With sorrow in your heart and tears in your eyes,
I can't handle that kind of frigid cry.
You're perfect to me, in every way.
In my dreams, I'm able to touch your face,
My heart would then begin to race.
Knowing that you love me so,
Brings such a bright new hope.
I'm sorry that I can't be close,
When you need me the most.
But dear, I will never leave,
No matter what you think of me.
One day I swear we'll be together,
So don't ever say never.
Forsaken LovelessIn the night,
I wait by candle light.
In my bed,
I rest my head.
Staring at the door,
Waiting ever more.
For my Queen to rescue me,
Though no one would agree.
I still wait for her to take flight,
And rescue me in the night,
And when she enters to my room,
I start to fall and to swoon.
To see her come to save me,
All emotions start to evade me.
Except for the one of passions strife,
Oh the cruel unending life!
I awake in my bed,
I no longer rest my head,
I no longer wait at night,
By a candle light.
My queen never came any night,
To save me from that awful fright,
Twas all a dream or so it seemed.